Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Customers: Part 27 - Thad's Magic Moment

   Friday the 13th, I'm heading to the backroom for lunch, when I noticed a ghost lurking in the R 'n B section. I drifted back to Eric and warned him. "That guy back in R 'n B, with the green shirt. He's going to come up here and attempt some sort of bullshit. You do not have to treat him like he's the secret shopper. In fact, everyone always hated him."
  "Gee, thanks ..."
   Fifteen minutes later, Eric marched into the backroom.
  "What an asshole!! Comes up to me, throws his drivers license at me, and tells me he's taking some USED CDs out to his car to listen to. I say, no you're not. He argues that he's done this before; I say you didn't with me. Then he demands to see the manager. You're looking at him. So I can't take these to my car? No! Calls me a jerk, says I'm the reason this country and this company has done gone to Hell. I smiled and said that's what wakes me up each morning. Told him he could shop elsewhere if he didn't like it. He pitches some more bullshit at me then storms out. Fucker."
   "Yeah ... that was Thad. Always pulling shit. Used to come to the Listening Bar with a stack of CDs. Never bought anything. Never said thank you, never said hello, just pitched CDs at the clerk with that pissed off sullen expression on his face. No one liked him. We eventually banned him from the store."
  "Why?"
   "Few years ago, a couple of Mexicans were making a purchase and they laid their wallet on the counter. Thad casually appropriated it, then sauntered out the door."
  "No fucking way!"
   "It gets better. Joe realized what happened, saw Thad waddling across the parking lot, he and the Mexicans ripped out after him. Now Thad had not planned this caper very well since his getaway vehicle was the city bus, on the corner across from the Chevron station. The Mexicans caught him and gave him a royal ass whippin'."
  "Shit, you're making this up!" Eric laughed.
   "I kid you not. Joe was midway in the parking lot, laughing his ass off. From then on we banned Thad from the store. I guess he assumed, since tomorrow's our final day, he could come in here one last time."
  "Well, I just tossed his ass out again!"
   "Eric, you did good. In fact I'm going to e-mail to half the old staff. All of them knew Thad. They can picture him strutting back into the store again. The notion that you just thunked his head like whack-a-mole will make all of them proud."
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