Friday, June 23, 2006

Coworkers: Part 73 - Southpark!

   Tarryton, newest shift manager, had become obsessed with the South Park cartoon series. He had grown incoherent in many regards.
   "Hey, Dude. Did Stacey go on break or just pop over to Eckerd's for a bag of chips?"
   "Southpark!"
   "Tarryton, could you help line 4?"
   "Southpark!"
   "Shut the hell up and just tell me where you saw my clipboard."
   "Southpark!"

   And it was one word, spit out excitedly. Unless he waxed eloquent, boasting how he would soon be working on the South Park lot, writing scripts, becoming a new, wildly popular character.
   Oh yeah ... we so believed that.
   Denizens of construction sites, offices, factories, prisons, all of us must endure the mindless babbling of colleagues on a day by day, hour by hour basis. It's a wonder the murder rate doesn't skyrocket.
   Tarryton was completely full of it. His job performance plummeted, he was forever daydreaming. F A M E, celebrity, red carpet premieres, tanned nymphettes, more money than was imaginable.
   "Southpark!"
   In every other way, Tarryton was normal. Intelligent, funny, charming even, with the usual weaknesses.
   Back story - - he had a connection.
   "One of the creators is my best friend. He personally guarantees me a job. Any day now, any day now. Hollywood here I come."
   This continued for months. We tolerated him as well as we could.
   "Southpark!"
   Eventually, Tarryton departed under less than stellar circumstances.
   Relinquished his keys, departed never to be seen again.
   He did ... however ... wind up on South Park. Character once. Voice work a couple more times.
   So, there is hope for all you big plans / big mouth types.
   What did we know?
   We knew none of us ever received any South Park stage invites.
   Go figure.
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